Your biggest fuck up of the last 24 hours?


I decided to be a good boyfriend and make my girlfriend eggs this morning. When I was whisking that shit up, I noticed I didn't have any milk to add to the eggs, but I did have french vanilla creamer. I figured if I used just a tiny ass amount of creamer it wouldn't make the eggs too sweet and I could cancel it out with salt, black pepper, cheese, and cayenne pepper. Well I finish the eggs and she immediately notices and asks why the eggs taste sweet Not wanting to admit my mistake, I say "uhhh I dunno that's weird" and try some of the eggs. These fucking eggs taste like Lucky Charms; they're seriously the worst eggs I've ever had. I'm like "Wow that's weird, I'll just make some more, I wonder how that happened."


jesus christ why


Sometimes you just get cocky. This is how we learn


Big if true


>Out of milk
>Too sweet
Well theres something saltier you coulda put in her eggs

and that goes both ways


I love the double entendre there :wink:


next time just use ranch brotato


nigga who puts milk in their eggs


Buzz me Mulato


I guess you don't like your eggs being fluffy and tasting better


use fucking butter nerd


use 'fucking butter'

already recommended that

and that also goes both ways


yeah ik bb


you need to stop hombre


When wayfarer tells you to stop you know your life is a fucking mess tbh


I tried to be Human.


this old as shit but thats a funny story


have a fun time on this site, lots of meanies are on this site so becarful


<img src=

I lost the election

Pic related, it's me.


I was talking to this girl and it was going really well and she made what sounded to me like an offhand sexual joke so I’m like “hahaha send me pictures of your knees” and she’s just like “ummm I’ll pass” and I’m like “fuck” (internally).