I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.
At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.
I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.
"Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.”
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, “I might as well kick it.”
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said “Fresh” and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, “Nah, forget it.”
– “Yo, home to Bel-Air.”
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie, “Yo home smell ya later.”
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air"
My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.
This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha