Your biggest fuck up of the last 24 hours?


#1

I was just making some chocolate mousse, and I was trying to make twice the amount in the cookbook (The Joy of Cooking btw, highly recommend it) and I doubled all of the amounts asked for in the book.

Or at least I thought I did, until i just now (30 minutes later) realized I used half as much butter as I should’ve. FML well we’ll see how it goes tomorrow


#2

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

“FUCK YOUR BITCH IN THE BOOTY
WE MADE LIKE TWELVE MOVIES
KILLING SHIT IS MY DUTY
YOUNG METRO DONT SHOOT ME
LIKE TRAYVON MARTIN
IKEMEFUNA MARTIN
DICK BIGGER THAN A BABY TIT
MOTHERFUCKER ITS LIT
IM NUTS BUT I AIN’T NO ALMOND BOY
EAT YOUR MOMS ASS LIKE AN ALMOND JOY–”

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#3

I missed my first class on my first day of college.


#4

this is a new pasta


#5

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

“Tits out, oh shit
My dick out, can she suck it right now?
Fuck, can she fuck right now?
I done asked twice now
Can you bring your price down?”

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#6

well then

/thread


#7

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

“Bruiser Brigade, bitch!
If you ain’t pulling his dick out and slapping yourself with it
Throwing this bitch in your mouth sucking dick with bubbles
Fucking all night and drinking protein shakes in the morning
Get the fuck outta here!”

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#8

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

“Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop
Chief Keef ain’t bout this, Chief Keef ain’t bout that
My boy a BD on fucking Lamron and them
He, he they say that nigga don’t be putting in no work
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Y’all niggas ain’t know shit
All ya motherfuckers talk about
Chief Keef ain’t no hitta
Chief Keef ain’t this
Chief Keef a fake
SHUT THE FUCK UP
Y’all don’t live with that nigga
Y’all know that nigga got caught with a ratchet
Shootin’ at the police and shit
Nigga been on probation since fuckin, I don’t know when!
Motherfuckers stop fuckin’ playin’ him like that
Them niggas savages out there
If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about Chief Keef
I’m fucking beating they ass!
I’m not fucking playing no more
You know those niggas role with Lil’ Reese and them
(Young Chop on the beat)”

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#9

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster
Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped
downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally
reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room
straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any
rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I
could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I
see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into
the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I
decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t
bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

“Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop
Arthur ain’t bout this, Arthur ain’t bout that
My boy a student at fucking Lakewood Elementary and them
He, he they say that nigga don’t be making good grades
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Y’all niggas ain’t know shit
All ya motherfuckers talk about
Arthur ain’t got no hoes
Arthur ain’t this
Arthur a fake
SHUT THE FUCK UP
Y’all don’t live with that nigga
Y’all know that nigga got a 4.0 gpa
Acing all the test and shit
Nigga been fucking Muffy since fuckin, I don’t know when!
Motherfuckers stop fuckin’ playin’ him like that
Them niggas savages out there
If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about Arthur
I’m fucking beating they ass!
I’m not fucking playing no more
You know those niggas role with
Buster and them”

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming
from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came
downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that
moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I
turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my
mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#10

oh my fucking god

there are no words


#11

i had my first day back at university after mid semester break and professor was like ‘good morning class’ and idk why but i blurted out 'good morning mister …" like you would when you were 6 and i got some weird fuckin looks. Also more than 24 hours ago but I threw up on my now ex’s uni textbooks after doing a drunk handstand :v:


#12

sick

literally


#13

feelsbadman.jpg


#14

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

"Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.”

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, “I might as well kick it.”

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said “Fresh” and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, “Nah, forget it.”
– “Yo, home to Bel-Air.”

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie, “Yo home smell ya later.”
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air"

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#15

I drank nearly a full bottle of rum and probably more,i dont remember anything but glimpses between 8pm and 4am this morning.

I woke up by the side of a highway shirtless an hour and a half away from home with 2% on my phone and paid far too much for that return trip.

I am a mess.


#16


#17

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

“Yeezy, Yeezy, what’s good?
It’s your boy Max B, what’s going on?
Just checking in on you
Appreciate the love and support
The wave is here
You a wavey dude anyway, so you already know
Ain’t no problem, man, the game…
You already know how this game thing goes
Do your wave nigga
You got the official wave man
Just, just doing you…
Doing you, doing your wave
And keep it loopy, I know you’re going to keep it loopy man
Shoutout, just shout you out
Hollering at you man, it’s all love
I appreciate the… the energy
And we here, hit the town, we do something big
We gonna make a big tsunami up in the joint
You already know what it is, ahh”

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#18

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a streetlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
No one dare
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said “The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence"

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha


#19

I have this thing where I just freestyle the most ignorant shit to myself when I’m bored.

At about 11pm last night, I woke up with a strong craving for Toaster Strudels. I rubbed the haze out of my eyes and quietly slipped downstairs, making sure each step was agonizingly delicate. Finally reaching downstairs, I fastwalked past the dimly lit living room straight into the kitchen. I stopped for a moment, listening for any rustling upstairs. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could finally enjoy my Toaster Strudels.

I reached into the refigerator, pulling out the first open pack I see. Cream cheese and strawberry, not bad. I promptly stuffed them into the Toaster and sat down in a chair in anticipation. Bored with myself, I decided to start rapping. Given that I was alone downstairs, I didn’t bother to lower my voice; I just started spitting agressively.

“Turn a catholic chick to a watersports professional
Burn a cannabis spliff, my rhymes are gold, go national
I’m a leaky faucet, givin bitches golden showers
This shit’s easy, fuck it, livin livid, I’m bold and power-
Ful, beats sound like they six feet underground
Peep whats down, I should be locked in a doggy pound
Lift my leg and piss on her face, I’m a fly tyrant
Bitch get red, you’d think her ass was a fire hydrant
Call me Thom Yorke, cock short, love watersports
But I’m a poor sport, torn shorts, wardrobe hurt
BALLL LIKE DON NELSON, MY COCK BIGGER IN PERSON
WRITE RHYMES IN MY NOTEPAD, WORDS PAST THE MARGIN”

My…provocative bars were disrupted by a fit of laughter, coming from the living room. Turns out my mother was half asleep when I came downstairs and got a front seat to my inspiring performance. Just that moment, I heard the unmistakeable POP of my Strudels being done. I turned around and grabbed them both and ran back upstairs, whilst my mother was still laughing.

This morning I didn’t even say hi to her before I left hahahaha

@slammin @Thugger @CloudFo AHAHHA


#20

LMFAOOOooOooOOOOOOOOOO.