Create a Fake Album Thread


#45

not enough DESIGNATION in this one, too unrealistic


#46

No Malice - Let the Dead Bury the Dead (2017)

  1. Original Sin
  2. Milk and Honey
  3. Jesus Christ
  4. Judas Iscariot
  5. Be Not Afraid
  6. Mark of Cain (ft. Pusha T)
  7. Let the Dead Bury the Dead (ft. Pusha T, Ab-Liva, Fam-Lay)
  8. For He So Loved the World (ft. Pusha T)
  9. Blood of the Lamb (ft. Pusha T)
  10. Harrowing (ft. Pusha T)
  11. Salvation (ft. Pusha T)

In 2016, No Malice releases a song called "Jesus Christ", from his upcoming album "Let the Dead Bury the Dead". It's a good song, but doesn't get too much attention, at least from people who weren't already paying attention. He decides to go back to his album and work more on it to perfect it and bring the word of God to as many people as possible. In November 2016, sickened by the spiritual state of America being willing to elect as unrepentant a sinner as Donald Trump, he decides to create another song and work with his brother on it. In January 2017, he releases the song, titled Mark of Cain. On it, Pusha T renounces cocaine and announces that he is now a Christian rapper who writes only for the glory of God. This brings huge amounts of attention to No Malice's upcoming album, which he releases a month later. It is universally loved, and everyone who listens to it is convinced of the truth of Christianity. An evangelical organization hires people to fly around in helicopters with giant speakers attached, spreading the word of God in the most effective way. Donald Trump resigns as President and repents for all his pride, hate, lust, greed, etc. and starts working to help the poor. By 2019, the entire world is Christian. Satan materializes and attempts to bring sin back and destroy humanity, but Pusha T and No Malice kill him with a flaming sword. It turns out that there wasn't just one Messiah, but rather two, and they both had to become Christian to establish the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. God personally appears and ends all suffering and evil (not that there was much of either left), then rules forever. Gene and Terrence Thornton sit at his right and left hand, and release new music for the rest of eternity which is unimaginably better than anything humans have ever conceived of.


#47

Kanye West - History (2007)
Hip-Hop, Rap

Tracklist

  1. His Story
  2. Lost (Ft. Kid Cudi)
  3. GOOD MUSIC (Ft. Travi$ Scott, Desiigner, Big Sean, Migos, Pusha T, 2 Chainz and Tyga)
  4. Donda
  5. Family
  6. Winning (Ft. Young Thug and Drake)
  7. I'm Back (Prod. Metro Boomin)
  8. California (Ft. Kendrick Lamar, Schoolboy Q, and Tyler The Creator)
  9. Lord Pretty Flacko Jodye Track (ft. A$ap Rocky)
  10. Graduation
  11. Hot Boys (Ft. Collegrove)
  12. Kings (Ft. JAY-Z)
  13. UP (Ft. Designer)
  14. The Fame and its Hardships
  15. Slaughter (Ft. 21 Savage and Andre 3000)
  16. Levels (Ft. Future and A$ap Rocky
  17. Clear Conscience (Ft. Chance the Rapper)
  18. History

#48

God I'd listen to the FUCK out of this

btw you dropped a parenthesis after A$AP Rocky


#49

desiigner woulda been ten years old

what he gonna rap about? hand holdin hoes and lunch money blackmail


#50

well even if desiigner was an infant he would still be able to rap the same things he does now, indiscernable gun noises and gurgling

also 21 Savage would be 14, Young Thug would be 15, Quavo and Offset would be 15 and Takeoff would be 13, Tyler would be 15, and Chance the Rapper would be 13, at which point it was 4 years before the high school marijuana incident happened to him and then recorded 10 Day


#51

maybe he meant to put 2017 instead of 2007


#52


The year is 2051. Jay-Z is 82 years old. Most of his peers are dead, but more importantly, Nas passed away several years ago, and Jay-Z was able to buy the rights to his music. He then proceeded to come out of his eighth retirement to drop COOLMATIC, his most recent album since his decent but lacking 2018 release. A 10-track album with only one feature, the album was primarily marketed to trap fans with no memory of Nas's discography, so it was alright for him to bite the entire premise. Jay-Z recorded this album from his retirement home in New York, and reportedly asked to be confined to a bed so he could be laser-focused on its completion. The staff reportedly had to empty his bedpan out every five minutes because he was pissing his bed over how exciting the album is. It has an all-star roster of producers, all of whom locked themselves in Jay's retirement home room with him to mastermind the creative process behind the album, which mostly consisted of repeatedly listening to Illmatic and nodding their heads to the beat. The tracklist (with production credits) is as follows:

  1. The First Book of the Bible (prod. DJ Premier)
  2. In A Mental State Inspired By the State Known As New York (prod. Timbaland)
  3. The Act of Existing is Vaguely Reminiscent of an Unlikeable Female (feat. Lil Uzi Vert) (prod. The Neptunes)
  4. You Are Unknowingly in Possession of the Entire Planet (prod. Just Blaze)
  5. You Are Now Halfway Through The Listening Experience of this Album (prod. Mike Dean, Bink!, Vinylz, and Brian "All Day" Miller, but credited to Kanye West)
  6. In A State Conducive To Recalling Past Experiences (Reclined in An Open Grassy Space) (prod. Mannie Fresh)
  7. Singular Feeling Of Affection (prod. Havoc)
  8. Only One Instance Specifically For Your Brain (prod. Dr. Dre)
  9. I Am In the Act of Representing (prod. Q-Tip)
  10. It Is Not Difficult To Perceive (prod. DJ Premier)

Lil Uzi's feature quickly goes down as one of the best features of all time, and is ultimately revered more than the entire remainder of the album. Here is the holy text as follows:

Yeah :clap: Yeah :clap: Yeah :clap: Yeah :clap: Yeah :sweat_drops:
I'm on this track :pray:with :rainbow:Jay-Z :heart_eyes_cat:
uh, ya, :purple_heart:
Haters they :snake:be lookin at me crazy, :thinking:
uh, wait...
i be :fire: :diamond_shape_with_a_dot_inside: up in new york :eggplant: like a pigeon,:bird:
do your girl :fire:every position,:eggplant: :sweat_drops: :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
ya lil uzi :purple_heart: :pray:on a mission, hey, wait,
im wetting your bitch :clap: like water, :sweat_drops: :crying_cat_face:
hey, :clap:
on the track with sean carter, :grey_exclamation: :older_man:
uh, yeah, :heart: :blue_heart: :green_heart:
call me lil :fire: like dwayne carter, :cat: :crocodile:
uh, yeah,
bitch teeth whiter :white_circle: than jimmy carter, :older_man: :cry: :pray:
wait, uh, :fire: :fire: :fire: :pray: ::raised_hands:
im in that car :truck:with your daughter :peach: :purple_heart: :sweat: :tongue: :cat: uh,
empire state, uh, :wink:
eat her :stuck_out_tongue: :money_mouth: like she's on a plate, :fork_knife_plate: :sweat_drops:
on her chest(chess) like checkmate, :wink: :fire: :fire:
yeah yeah yeah yeah,
weed :fire: :smoking: got 4 leaves like a clover, :four_leaf_clover: :rainbow:
lil uzi vert :purple_heart: :rainbow: :raised_hand: and young hov-er, :older_man:
yeah, this verse is over :stopwatch: :fire: :snake: :raised_hands: :vulcan:

Jay-Z's performance on the album is more heavily critiqued, with most detractors citing his delivery on the album. "Maybe it's the fact that he's 82, but something about his voice sounds very dry and cracked. One eventually begins to believe that Jay-Z is hoarsely asking the listener for a glass of water for 41 minutes." A certain bald-headed hipster who uploads videos on the internet remarked that "it sounds almost like Jay-Z is rapping into a microphone dangling over his mouth while he lies in a bed in a retirement home or something. Also no rattling hi-hats to be found. Worthless album, light 4." However the production is lauded and the hip-hop community agrees that these are some of the best beats they've heard in years. They are some of the only non-Metro Boomin' beats to ever be made since the year 2019 or so when he became rap's sole producer, and only Jay-Z could've possibly accumulated enough money to allow that to happen. Kanye's beat on "You Are Now Halfway Through The Listening Experience of this Album" (actually made by Mike Dean, Vinylz, Brian "All Day" Miller," and Bink! but given credit to Kanye because Kanye said so and he put in a drum clap effect at 2:38 and 3:41 so he did do something alright???) was given the most praise for sampling hip-hop classic "You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack" for a brilliant hook. It also incorporated slide-whistles, the Seinfeld theme song, miscellaneous Al Pacino screaming, and autotuned Mongolian throat singing background hooks to create a beat not unlike Kanye's own "All of the Lights." However, many believe that Jay-Z's first verse on "In A Mental State Inspired By the State Known As New York" is the best part of the album, and indeed one of the best he ever made in general. Here it is in full:

uh,
uh-uh, djeeyuh,
uh,
YOUNG HOVA!
'SsssSSs the ROC!
uh
uh-uh
turn the headphones up
uh
timbo on the track,
djeeyuh,
not sure how to start this, uh, begin,
ya see, most rappers, they like to talk about the streets,
how they like to bust steel, how they sound over beats,
but i bet you none of those so-called real thugs,
would ever admit their fear of their fam pullin the plug,
been here many years in this retirement home,
but i still get nervous when they leave me alone,
did the nurse give enough morphine to hold off bad dreams,
will my dinner tonight not have enough cream?
grew up in the projects, sold the D, learned the lingo,
and many years later became the kingpin of bingo,
i wet the bed like i wet so many women,
the nurse change it out and i get back to pissin',
feels like it's so long since blue ivy came to visit,
at least see her old man, see how much he's been pissin'
i wish i was in marcy right now sellin crack,
if it got these wrinkly old fuckers off of my back,
got so bored in here with puzzles bingo and snacks,
so i put away the knitting and i started to rap, HOV!!!

Overall, COOLMATIC is a deeply personal album, and the resemblance to that dusty ole Nas album has proven to be purely superficial. Hopefully the two above verses illustrate the fact that this is actually a concept album about retirement, aging, and dying alone, as Jay-Z references many times on the final track. The cover, a superimposition of Jay-Z over his native Marcy Projects, would probably have only been more original if he was a baby on it. Truly stellar. Pitchfork rated it a 7.2 like every other rap project they know is trendy but don't truly enjoy, and gave it the coveted title of "best new old man music." three of the album's 10 tracks trended on the billboard, and it won a grammy for "best rap album by a rapper 70 years or older," won the previous year by Mike Jones with his brilliant comeback album Who is Mike Jones? No Seriously I'm Starting to Forget. Overall COOLMATIC will probably withstand the test of time as one of the most bizarre albums to ever grace music. I'm really looking forward to it coming out.


#53

hall of fame :triumph:


#54

Thanks man I had to work hard to get that Uzi verse leaked it's one of a kind


#55


#56

gonna make a fake Pusha T x Jay Z album soon stay tuned


#57

my therapist is hearing about this for sure you hooligan


#58

PUSHA T & JAY Z - DRUG DEALERS ANONYMOUS


image credit to Thugger @IssaKnife

Concept:

Pusha T & Jay Z unite for a grimy coke rap collab album. Release expected for Fall 2017. Drug Dealers Anonymous, the lead single for Pusha T's King Push, was pulled from the album and left as a loosie in favor of being the title track for their collaboration project.

Features: Kanye West, Future, No Malice, Freddie Gibbs, Rick Ross, Pharrell, Jadakiss, Raekwon

Production: DJ Dahi, The Neptunes, Pete Rock, DJ Premier, Just Blaze, Kanye West, Madlib

Tracklist:

  1. Drug Dealers Anonymous [prod. DJ Dahi]

  2. Blizzard (ft. Rick Ross & Jadakiss) [prod. Pete Rock]

  3. Kings [prod. Just Blaze]

  4. Interstate 95 [prod. Pete Rock]

  5. Coke and Rum (ft. Freddie Gibbs) [prod. Madlib]

  6. The House That Bricks Built [prod. Just Blaze]

  7. Lockdown (ft. Raekwon) [prod. DJ Dahi]

  8. Come On (ft. No Malice & Pharrell) [prod. The Neptunes] (interpolates "Come On" by The Notorious BIG ft Sadat X)

  9. Twelve (ft. Future) [prod. Kanye West]

  10. Commas [prod. DJ Premier]

  11. Shakedown [prod. The Neptunes]

  12. Sunday Morning (ft. Kanye West) [prod. Kanye West]

  13. Never Stop [prod. Just Blaze]

  14. Living So Italian (ft. Kanye West) [prod. Kanye West] (leftover from WTT sessions, beat remake by Kanye leaker DjTROUBLESOME here)

Bonus:

  1. Drug Dealers Anonymous Pt. 2 (ft. Raekwon, Rick Ross & Jadakiss) [prod. DJ Dahi]

  2. Black Chapo [prod. DJ Premier]

  3. Rolex Watch (ft. Freddie Gibbs) [prod. Madlib]

  4. First Class [prod. Just Blaze]

  5. Hallelujah [prod. Kanye West]

edit: added DJ Premier to producer list, made him producer on Commas and Black Chapo


#59

ok dis hard


#60

thanks fam I had a lot of fun making it

and I'm mad that it doesn't exist


#61

youre a beautiful man


#62

o hey thanks pal


#63

if he was more like shmurda he woulda been selling crack smh


#64

ok this retarded