Alright, listen the fuck up sheeple, because what I'm about to tell you might just save your life.
So, Kanye's been in the news a lot recently, for a lot of different reasons. What the majority of people don't realise is that all these events can be linked back to one man: Desiigner.
Desiigner seemed to pop up out of nowhere and go onto have one of, if not the biggest hit of 2016. How did this happen? Well, the truth is that Kanye is the real Designer. He has orchestrated every single part of Desiigner's success from his very conception. Kanye would tell us that date was May 3, 1997. He'd be lying. I don't know the exact date but it's probably sometime in 2015. That's right. Desiigner, someone who has always seemed slightly... odd, isn't human. Desiigner is a robot and Kanye literally Desiigned him.
It's obvious when you think about it. All the strange ad-libbing, dabbing and his weird personality are just malfunctions of Kanye's programming. The vomit dab was probably the worst case of this. Kanye pushed him too far and so he violently excreted his fuel. Nonetheless, Kanye programmed him to be as successful as possible and to make as much money as he could. He can even rap in autotune automatically. At the start, it worked perfectly. But after the disappointing reaction to Tiimmy Turner and New English, Kanye is beginning to get worried. So much so, that it's affecting his mental health. All this drama over him going to the hospital is a result of Desiigner's failure to replicate the success of Panda.
Kanye even put one of the clues in Desiigner's name. It's a pretty unremarkable name, except for one part: ii. Neither of them have ever explained what it means. But if you think about it, it becomes obvious. What is a letter i most famous for? That's right, iPhone, iPod, iPad. Kanye has managed to secure help from Apple to build Desiigner. This would explain Kanye's out-of-nowhere, almost manufactured friendship with Drake, AKA Apple Music's bitch.
But there are others who know about this deal and aren't so happy with it. Jay-Z for one. When he learned of the situation with Apple, he became angry with Kanye. As the owner of tidal, he sees Kanye as going over to the enemy, which would explain their confusing beef.
There's at least one other significant person who knows of Kanye's actions: J. Cole and he's trying to warn us. In his new song False Prophets, he says
He's fallin' apart, but we deny it
Most people thought this line refered to Kanye but he's actually talking about Desiigner. He's literally falling apart, as in he's not functioning properly anymore. "We" refers to all the prominent rappers who are in on Kanye's plan.
In the next line, he says
Justifying that half-ass shit he dropped, we always buy it
Desiigner is "that half-ass shit" and all the major rappers are "buying it" or rather, investing in it.
Even the song title has a clue in it: False Prophets. Desiigner is a false prophet of Kanye, a person who has something of a messiah complex. But wait, the song is called False Prophets. Plural. Does that mean that.... there could be more?
Kanye already has shit-tons money. Why would he want to create Desiigner if the end goal was to make more? As always, Kanye has a plan. We all know Kanye is planning to run for president. In the track Facts, he tell us
2020, I'ma run the whole election, yah!
Literally. Kanye is going to control the whole election. Using his Desiigner-bots (false prophets), he'll force everyone to vote Kanye, bringing the U.S. and the whole world into a state of wavy chaos. That's why he needs the help of Apple and countless other rappers. He needs money to manufacture millions of Desiigner-bots and start the Desiigner-pocalypse.
In fact, Desiigner himself (or should I say itself) has actually referenced what's going to happen.
Tiimmy, Tiimmy, Tiimmy Turner
He was wishin' for a burner
To kill everybody walkin’
Tiimmy Turner is Kanye.
But wait... holy shit.
I even had the pink polo, I thought I was Kanye.
(Shoutout to @sarah and @wayfarer for being the wokest of the woke.)